Lunch?

[Rudy Cooper/ Brain Moser]

As Rudy pulled up to Dexter's home, he gathered up all the supplies he brought from the front seat of his Seabring convertible. He didn't bother locking the car as the top was down. What good would that do?

Approaching the stairs of his building, so many thoughts go through his mind... "Is he home? Will he forgive me for intruding like this? Does he even want to see me after our last encounter?"

Rudy stood outside Dexter's door for what seemed to be an eternity. He finally mustered up enough courage and knocked three times. It seemed even longer for Dexter to even come to the door. Just as Rudy was about to turn to go back down towards the stairs, Dexter opened the door. "Hi Dex! I missed you. We never really got any closure on our last meeting. Want to share lunch with me? I brought fresh Kobe steaks and potato salad?"

(Tag - Dexter Morgan)

[Dexter Morgan]

Dexter wasnt expecting vistors, not that Deb ever called, and she really was his only visitor. So he really didnt think to check to see who it was before answering the door. He wasnt expecting it to be Rudy. After everything that happened, learning the truth....Dexter wasnt even sure what to think now. A family lunch? Is that what this was. He supposed that they did need to talk, thats what people were supposed to do to work through their feelings or so he had been told.

After realizing that he had just been staring for a few moments without saying anything opened the door further deciding that if nothing else the steak would be be good. He remembered from the T-Bone's last time that Rudy did know how to prepare a good steak. "Uh...sure...come on in...steak sounds good right about now" That was the great thing about being Dexter Morgan, no matter what he was thinking about, or what feelings he was trying to understand, it never seemed to affect his appetite.

[Rudy Cooper/ Brain Moser]

When Dexter opened the door, Rudy could see how surprised and discontented Dexter was to see him. It was understandable, after all that Rudy shared with him... that Rudy was Dexter's older brother, what actually happened to their mother, why Dexter was taken in by Harry and more importantly the fact that Rudy is also a serial killer, one who Dexter admired.

Finding his brother, after searching for him for so long, and with the possibility of having a relationship, Rudy was dying to talk with his brother to see how good (or bad) he was taking in all the information. Rudy didn't want to come over too strong, but this is what he wanted for so long! How could he not be excited?

He knows Dexter may not share his enthusiasm. Dexter never really developed emotionally and only learned how to mimic these emotions. Rudy is supportive of this, yet at the same time, he knows that will make talking and interactions awkward and impersonal.

"Listen, if you don't want me here, I'll leave", Rudy says with sadness and disappointment. "I won't be offended. But if you want me to stay, I promise you, I'll give you the choice of who gets to cook the steaks."

[Dexter Morgan]

Dexter could see already that he had disappointed his brother. That didnt take long He thought to himself. The last time that Rudy had come over, things had been different. Rudy had just been Deb's boyfriend eager to make a good impression. But even then it wasnt his first time in Dexter's apartment as he now knew. But now this was different. It wasnt just the Ice Truck Killer who had come to his apartment and left him clues, it wasnt his sisters boyfriend either. It was his first time having his brother over and knowing who he was and already he had made him feel unwelcome.

"No, I want you to stay" Dexter said, trying to sound more inviting this time. The last time they saw each other, Dexter hadnt even been sure he'd see him again, it all seemed so unreal, but almost perfect as well. Rudy hadnt been the disappointment Neil Perry had been. "Can I get you a beer or something to drink" He said trying to break the tension.

[Rudy Cooper/ Brain Moser]

Rudy saw the hesitation and confusion behind Dexter's eyes. It was as if he could almost see the myriad of thoughts rapidly going in and out of that head of his. Rudy was a patient man, so he waited.

"Sure, I'll take a beer", Rudy said with a smile as Dexter stepped aside so Rudy can enter his apartment. Dexter went to the fridge, took out two beers and offered Rudy one. As Rudy closed the front door, he thought to himself, 'Don't waste your time, just jump right in. You may never have this opportunity again'.

Rudy looked down as he reached and grabbed the beer so as not to catch Dexter's stare.
"Thanks." The following moments of silence were more awkward to Rudy that it had appeared to Dexter. Both men took a swig of his beer in hopes that would break it up.

Then Rudy said inquisitively, with eyes squinted, "Is there something you wanted to tell me or ask me about?"

[Dexter Morgan]

"Great, two beers it is" Dexter said going to the fridge to get them both a beer and handing his brother one. Beer seemed like a good way to break the tension.

Dexter looked over at Rudy as he asked him if there was anything he wanted to tell him or ask him about. He gave a half smile and shook his head. "Where do I start" He said having so many questions about everything but not even knowing how to ask them, or which ones were important. It was hard to come to terms with the knowlege that the person with the answers to his questions was right in front of him calmly drinking a beer.

"What do I call you now?" Dexter asked, thinking that was a good question to begin with. "Rudy...Brian...Biney?" He added the last one with a nervous laugh.

[Rudy Cooper/ Brain Moser]

"Dexter, I could only imagine how difficult this must be for you. Here I am, your brother, whom you didn't know existed, walks into your life with knowledge about you, yet you know nothing about me." Rudy continued. "I know everything that happened and you're still in the dark. I want you to take as long as you need, but I want you to know you can ask me anything at all! I'm here for you, if you'll let me be."

"And as far as what to call me... whatever you feel comfortable with. If you know me as Rudy, so be it. I've lived with this alias a while and I'm kind of used to it. But if you want to try to be true to yourself, Brian works, too." Then he gave Dexter a serene smile while maintaining eye contact.

Rudy felt better that he got all that out. He hopes Dexter isn't overwhelmed with this understanding and support; somethings that he never got his entire life. Does Dexter not see the benefits of Rudy's relationship and invitation?

[Dexter Morgan]

“You know everything about me, and I still feel like I’m connecting the pieces” Dexter told Rudy knowing how true that was. What Rudy hadn’t already known, he learned by breaking into Dexter’s apartment, going through his photo album, his slide collection. Yet looking at him, Dexter knew next to nothing, and not even enough to know what holes he needed filled in.

This man was the first person to know his secret since Harry died, but unlike Harry, Rudy’s eyes weren’t looking at Dexter like there was something wrong with him, like he was a monster. “I don’t know how I could have forgotten about you…” Dexter said, wondering more than that how Harry could have kept that knowledge from him, and lied to him all those years. “Did you always know about me?” He asked wondering if Rudy had blocked those memories at all too, or if he had always known.

“I don’t want you to go” Dexter responded when Rudy told him he’d be there for him if he’d let him. He wasn’t sure what Rudy was looking for from him, or if he’d be able to give it, but he didn’t want to never see his brother again after finding out he had one. He nodded as Rudy then went on to tell Dexter to call him what he felt comfortable with. “I guess we can go with the flow on that one”

[Rudy Cooper/ Brain Moser]

Listening to Dexter, Rudy can hear and even see what Dexter would classify as "emotion". Rudy sensed something else but he couldn't put his finger on it. Was it apprehension? The basic human need for comfort?

"You didn't decide, consciously anyway, to block out all that happened. It was your mind's way of coping with it - a defense mechanism. And that was something that helped you get through life." Rudy saw Dexter relax a bit. "Dexter you can't blame yourself for what happened (our mother's death, Harry raising you and telling you what he wanted)... none of that was under your control."

Rudy always wondered if Dexter knew about his family. He does now. "I've never forgotten about you. I remembered everything that happened and made it my goal to find you."

Rudy didn't want to push Dexter any further too quickly, then finished by saying, "I'm not asking anything from you, but I just want you to be comfortable to be yourself. And maybe one day, we can share in our talents together? Have you had any desires or people in mind lately??

[Dexter Morgan]

Dexter wondered what his life would have been like if he hadnt blocked everything out. If he had remembered his brother, the trauma of his mother's death, everything. Would Harry have even kept him if he remembered? Maybe that was why they had been seperated, Dexter was young enough to forget.

Dexter nodded, knowing everything that Rudy was saying was true, he hadnt decided to block it out, it just happened. "Not only do you know everything, but you're also right"

"You found me" Dexter said matter of factly after Rudy explained that it was his goal. "And you've certainly made a bigger impression than if you just showed up one day claiming to be the long lost brother."

Dexter laughed lightly as Rudy mentioned the possibility of them killing together. "Wow, been a long time since anyone's asked me that question." He said feeling a weight lifted realizing he didnt have to hide from Rudy. He had already seen everything and he was still here wanting to connect with Dexter. "The desire's always there. I just have to find the right person....how about you? Is the Ice Truck Killer going to be striking again soon?"

[Rudy Cooper/ Brain Moser]

"You know Dexter, from someone who claims he doesn't feel emotion, what you're showing me now seems genuine. You really do have a tremendous amount of insight." Rudy said as he realized he feels closer to Dexter now than ever before.

"Ah, I did make such an impression on you? I thought you'd get a kick out of my... gifts", Rudy says with a smirk. "I came very close to losing you again and you can rest assured that I promise you that will never happen again!" Suddenly Rudy's expression and demeanor became more serious.

Then Rudy tried to lighten things up by addressing Dexter's statement. "So, I guess Harry used to ask you, huh? Well, even though we may ask the same question, there are different emotions behind it. Mine are nothing like Harry's. I mean, I'm not trying to put him down, but again I see you for YOU and I completely accept that."

Rudy took another swig of his beer and he also saw Dexter relax more. "And since you asked... yes I do have someone in mind AND to respect you, I did my own research and found out that the man I am looking at has a long and violent criminal history. His name is Marc Davidson. He's a transplant from Ohio. He's very greedy and kills anyone who gets in his way, including children."

Rudy saw Dexter tense up a bit, so he kept at it, "Didn't I hear you say once you seem to have some sort of connection to children?" Rudy didn't wait for an answer, nor did he expect Dexter to give one. He already knew.

"Next time you go to work, look him up. You'll see what I mean. And if you're interested, I know his routine and can let you in on it..."

[Dexter Morgan]

Dexter thought about what Rudy was saying about him experiencing emotion. Since finding out about Rudy, and about himself, there were things that he felt that he couldnt explain. Whether he was experiencing emotion the way most people did, he wasnt sure. He wasnt used to expecting an emotion to be there, but had just become good at faking it. "What are your emotions like?" Dexter asked, wondering if his brother shared his lack of certain emotions. Was that why he was able to accept Dexter?

"I did enjoy the gifts, and the games we played." Dexter said with a more relaxed smile, thinking back to the awe he had for the Ice Truck Killer. "I admired you...still do" He admitted, watching Rudy get more serious. "I dont want that to happen either"

Dexter just nodded drinking his beer as Rudy explained how when he asked, it wasnt like when Harry would ask him. That he accepted him. It was a concept Dexter wasnt used to. Having someone he didnt have to pretend around.

Dexter smiled when he listened to Rudy explaining about how he did his own research and found someone with a criminal record, one who went after children at that. If what he was saying was true (which he didnt doubt) this man would make a perfect victim. He deserved to die.

Dexter nodded "Children are different...I dont know what it is about them. I could never hurt a child" He told Rudy. "Is this a first for you? Going after a man...I thought hookers were more your style?" He asked, not complaining but interested in the change. He could feel his heart start to race with excitement at the thought of them working together. It wasnt a feeling he had often. "I will look him up...I want to help you with this one"

[Rudy Cooper/ Brain Moser]

"What are my emotions like?" Rudy repeated with a laugh. "Dark, indiffferent and I just don't care. Sure, maybe that's selfish, but whose living my life? Me or the neighbor next door? They are what they are. I can mimic, like you, but I remember what it all feels like and brother, let me tell you, knowing what they don't feel like is a good place to be. They get in the way."

Dexter seemed intrigued by his explanation. Rudy continued with a big smile, "Those games we played, it was almost as fun as my 'hobby' and that's saying a lot. I really hope we can continue our relationship, as strange as it may be."

Rudy was very relaxed and was even a little vulnerable, allowing Dexter to see more inside him. Dexter was the only one who had gotten in so close, emotionally, and that's what Rudy wanted. He wanted to let Dexter know that there was another person out there just like him and a blood brother at that. Maybe it's the basic human need for companionship? Yes, they do belong to the human species. They may not be wonderul examples, but they are both human nonetheless, although both Dexter and Rudy may see that as a liability or an affliction.

When Rudy mentioned Marc Davidson, he could see the wheels turning in Dexter's head as well as his excitement. "No, he wouldn't be my first man. There have been many. Just look at the name 'Rudy Cooper'. I took it as my own when I took care of the actual man up in Jersey. I admit I enjoy killing hookers... people don't often come looking for them and they're easy to lure. It allows me to save my energy for what I truly enjoy. Let me know what you think after you look him up. I'm more than excited to do this together!"

Rudy and Dexter were bonding in a way they never have before. Rudy was dying to ask, "So, you became a blood splatter analyst? Ironic, don't you think? We both have a hate/ hate relationship with blood, huh? I think that's actually pretty funny."

[Dexter Morgan]

Dexter listened to Rudy’s explanation about his emotions. It almost seemed like he just pushed them out of the way because it was easier to not deal with them. “Seems pretty convenient, especially in our line of work” He commented. But even as Rudy was claiming himself to be selfish, Dexter was realizing that Rudy also did care about some things, even if he said he didn’t. He cared enough to track down his brother and teach him who he was. If he was truly indifferent he would never have bothered.

“I hope that we can continue this too, whatever it may be” Dexter said. He remembered what it felt like when the others had predicted that the Ice Truck Killer was going to be able to leave now that they had gotten someone else to take the fall. He had felt connected to the killer because of their games. But now that he knew everything, that he was so much more than just another serial killer, Dexter knew it would be so much worse if Rudy suddenly disappeared.

Dexter nodded listening as Rudy explained about killing the real Rudy Cooper in New Jersey. “I guess that makes sense” He understood Rudy’s reasoning behind targeting mostly hookers, even if it didn’t follow Harry’s code. He smiled as Rudy expressed his excitement for them to work together. “It would be pretty amazing to share that”

Dexter laughed as Rudy brought up the irony in his choice of profession. “Yeah, I guess it is ironic. Sometimes it sets my teeth on edge…other times it helps control the chaos.” He explained. “Its also one of the few things that doesn’t bore me, although having bloodless crime scenes held my interest pretty well”

[Rudy Cooper/ Brain Moser]

The more Rudy and Dexter talk and share, the more relaxed and content Rudy is becoming; he even is close to finishing his beer and he's not a big drinker. Rudy can see when he explains things to Dexter, that Dexter thinks more and more. All Rudy wants to do is be there for his brother and for him to learn all the truths, good and bad.

Rudy acknowledged Dexter's desire for Rudy to remain in his life. "For you, I won't be going anywhere." And when Dexter said how amazing it would be to work together and share that moment, Rudy couldn't smile more. To fully express his excitement and even anticipation, Rudy said, "Then you've got to check this guy out soon. Too bad you couldn't do it from home."

Rudy admired Dexter for his reasons behind why he chose blood splatter. It also made him laugh and everytime Rudy thinks of that irony, he can't help but laugh.

"So, what's next on our agenda?"